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two issues. the first one is hard to deal with. It seems your ego doesn't care for his job situation. Bills are paid, you're not struggling. I bet you don't tell anyone what he does, do you? His lack of ambition embarrasses you, doesn't it? Well, that's your problem to solve. Calling him lazy is cruel and mean and certainly not going to get you that high-earner you think you ought to have. "fighting generations of awful work ethic, LAZY" gee I bet his family thinks you and your job are the bomb. Second, you'd like more money that you have. Understandable. How much extra would you have if you got divorced? How would life be if both of you combined made the income you're bringing in, you know if your job wasn't so hot? Would you have a happy marriage without your feelings of inequality? I am not particulary ambitious. Never had any to move into management, never wanted to own my own company, however if you ed me "lazy" you'd be sorely mistaken. Not everyone is driven, not everyone wants more more more more stuff. When working I make decent six figures, so money isn't the issue, but my husband has never really understood a general lack of ambition. I dunno, I guess I feel sorry for your husband, and normally I'd be all over a guy who sleeps half the day. I think it's your cruelty (would you say to him what you said here, LAZY?) and sense of entitlement, that you're so much better than him, is generating negative feelings. YOU have some work to do, IMO, a lot more than your husband. You married him, he is what he is. you can't make him want to earn more, not when there's a roof over his head and food on the table, so maybe you have to get the word LAZY out of your vocabulary and start looking at acceptance. Because the reality is, you chose this and now you want to change the rules. Would you be so high and mighty if hard times fell on you and you lost your job? think about that, how much of your self-worth you have wrapped up in being a better earner than your husband. It could all be gone in an instant.
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