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i empathize, but i can't help but read between the lines. if he is 28, and is living with his parents, for free, and unwilling to go live with your family, for free, and would rather break-up than "live in california " um i hate to say it, but as devoted as you are to making this work, seems to be as 'un-devoted' as he sounds. you can make excuses for him if you want, but what good does it do? at 28, he should have a job already. it should be able to at *least* pay for a cheap apt. off of him for a sec, and on to the whole sitch: you can rely on the kindness of strangers (which you'll find isn't likely all that kind, and possibly a little bit sketchy,) or you can look at the options for either of you, or both of you to bring in an income. his parents be hypocritical right wing assholes but i haven't lived with my parents since i was 20, and even then, only summers home from school after high school. i have a very good relationship with my parents, and they would help me in a pinch, but they would not support me up through 28 and they likely wouldn't care that i had a boy living with me at their home anymore than they'd care if my brother had a girl living at their home with him. i'm just saying the problem isn't entirely caused by his parents and something you probably don't want to hear, is that your BF has 'outs' that he's opting not to take. you might consider that until he 'grows up,' a little distance might make both of you stronger.
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