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when we were dating i saw him as a single dad working hard for his family. that attracted me to him in the sense that i knew he would pull his weight. i felt like if he can handle them on his own, then i'd just be the icing, not the whole cake! he's a veteran so he's never had a civilian career, just jobs. i never got to how he would be as a husband, no one ever does (unless you're a mistress i guess). i'm beginning to feel like it was wrong to look away from the logistics of marriage and follow my heart. And it's not that i really want to do other things than be with my, it's more that sometimes it feels like a chore or a job i never get relief from. i guess some mornings i want to sleep in rather than get up early to be at one practice or another. and mostly i feel unappreciated. i think my husband thinks food just magiy appears in the house, and that toilet paper never runs out. now yes he does help with laundry and dishes, but nothing compares to the grind of a second job as as you walk in the door. i wouldn't even him my best friend because resentment has set in. when i got married i wanted a family. i never thought it meant going so places without him. we spent our first christmas apart. the and i went back to our hometown to be with family. there was no reason to stay and be alone and deprive the when he has to work xmas and the day after, morning till night .
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