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but i do genuinely appreciate the input. i had a job lined up as as i realized i couldnt keep going with him. it was for $14 an hour. he took me to buy an outfit and took me to the interview and bought me food and snacks to live on for the first few days. the job was in another town, however my home town. and i would have had to move into my widower step-father's house, which would have been fine. But the day before, he got really, really quiet and sullen and kept saying that he didn't want me to make the decision weather to take it or not, because of him but then he kept going on all depressed like and i just felt so guilty for leaving, even though it was such an amazing opportunity. ive applied to a few places in town, and im going to take a job. but i have no where to go and no way to get there. the hitting used to be more frequent.. it has been a while, but it got so bad once that he left bruises on his face (and let me take a picture with my phone when I had one). So, why do I still feel like half of me wants to stay? How do I know if it is fear of being alone, or fear of missing him and if had any where to go i would not be on here reaching out to complete strangers. i have trusted other people, and for very good reasons, i had to stop making that mistake.
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