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- go to your local job and family services and ask for a list of legal aid if they wont help e it thru your county if he isn't a cop go get yourself an immediate restraining order if there is in the history of the relationship and just explain your filing for a divorce it is standard protocol and shouldn't be an issue of proof as for the rude others stupid irrelevant moronic post just pretend you didn't them sweety keep your head up and know you can do it with or without a lawyer if you don't have a lawyer you wont get anything but your better off to cut any ties completely if abusive then there is no reason for future crap been there done that best wishes today is the first day of the rest of your life!!
I think I'm gonna get some sleep! I don't think my can take any more 'toying'! :) Well, it could if i had a guy here, lol. But I think I'm gonna shoot you an and we can
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I can do long division and I don't believe mullets are ever going to make a serious comeback. If you send me a of yourself right off the bat I'll get back to you. And no I'm not posting one myself and it's not because of warrants.
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It's almost easier without you. I've built us up so much that I would be absolutely riddled with anxiety if we got back together. The doubt you've instilled in me. I'm not entirely sure we can come back from that, but I can only speak for myself. Its unfair. I've never sewn seeds of doubt in your mind as far as my dedication and love go. So of course you know I'm out here loving you regardless of what either of us does. You know my weakness. The realization that we've probably dug ourselves into a hole too deep to get out of, together at least, still isn't enough to get you off my mind. My efforts are futile, and so are yours. So where does that leave us? Destined to think about each other forever but never do anything about it because it might not work? I know that's where you sit, but I prefer to have a little more hope. I have to. I fear looking back one day and seeing I've wasted so much time on something that wasn't astronomical. Maybe I'm just scared to cut my losses, I don't know anymore. Every little thing reminds me of you. I'd like to think its the worlds way of telling me who my soul mate is, but that sounds so god damn cheesy I can barely bring myself to write it down. What confuses me is that you don't buy any of that shit, yet you still think of me every day. If it weren't something bigger than us, bigger than you, wouldn't you have been able to shake me by now? Maybe you have, and it's just a slew of lies spewing out of your mouth. Who knows for sure. I don't, however, think it was all a lie. I think you were bearing your soul to me, and I shat on it. Do you blame me though? I don't think you do.
I would say I'm not sure how much more of this pining I can take, but I know the answer. As much as it takes to get you back in my life, in whatever form that may be. Hence the litany of entries in my written directly to and about you. Right now that's all I have.
I stray from the thought that I'm grasping onto strings with you. I've definitely done that before, but this feels different. It's more of a want than a need. I want to hear from you, talk to you, see you. None of this is necessary for my happiness, but it remains regardless. I'm even pretty sure I would sacrifice much of my sanity if I were to include you in my life. And again, none of that matters.
I can't imagine how much crazy you would have to deal with if you broke it off with her. I most definitely get why you won't leave, even if that's your only reason. Like I said before, I think you really do love her. I sway back and forth from thinking if you'll leave her, and if we'll end up together. All I know right now is that I am still furiously in love with you.
With all of this said, quite randomly, I just want to be your friend. I know where you're at right now. Unspeakable darkness and a seemingly solemn destiny. Emptiness. Take it from someone who knows what the deepest crevice in Hell feels like. Once you're there, looking up at the world above you with nothing below, there's only one way out. You haven't reached a bottom my dear, but you are approaching quickly. I'd love to save you from barreling down into a madness you cannot conceive, but I must not. I can only lay beside you and wait for your eyes to avert from temporary insanity. I will wait, you know this. I have no choice. I am too aware. Of our undying love, of my incapacity to feel anything that remotely resembles what we had with each other, of people's intentions and their incredulous transparency. I am aware, and will forever wait because of this. Through this lifetime, and many to come. You are the only thing I have left to believe in.
Val
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