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you don't have to make a decision in two weeks. He can go to the job while you figure out if you want to move. My perspective is going to be a different than yours because I grew up military and am married military. Our lives growing up weren't shit because we moved a lot and didn't always live near kin. You are putting artificial importance on things in order to get your way. You left for college. You can leave now. You say yourself that this job is good for your husband's resume, that makes it sound like a step, nothing permanent. Over a year ago I gave up everything to move to an isolated duty station with my husband. My job/identity, my income, my friends, some pets, my house that I loved, hobbies, EVERYTHING. It costs $ a minute for me to talk to anyone. It costs me $ a trip just to get to a country with an airline and there is one flight a week in and out. I haven't been real happy a lot of the time, in fact I left for a bit. But that had more to do with my husband being wrapped up in his job and forgetting I existed and the death of my beloved dog because she couldn't get medical care. Resentment? You don't know what that word means. Never once did I say I was going to be miserable here, you've already decided. Both when I moved here and when I decided to come back it was with the promise that my attitude would be good and I woudl make the best of it. You've already decided to be miserable. I don't want to come across as "I'm so perfect, I gave up everything and evey minute of it" but your attitude strikes me as so selfish, so childish, so un-partner-like that I'd stick a fork in it. You've admitted you'll be miserable no matter what. You married someone who makes impulsive decision on his own wihtout consulting you. That's different than the military. But that's what you married. Deal with it. I guess asking you to grow up, make the move (you conveniently leave out how far away it is) and make the best out of it. Physical location is soooooo unimportant in the big picture, but you refuse any alternative. The fact is there is no decision where both of you be happy. That's where marriage and aprtnership comes into play. Look up the word compromise and if you can't start from there. Or live off your savings so you get your way.
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